bad luck

Im tired, im truly tired of it...finding all the alternatives to settle my smd,bt it doesnt run smooth. wat tiang told me today during phy was another bad news to me..am i so unlucky throughout tis year..perhaps

a person who did nt do anything wrong, bt hv tis implication. i did nt bring any barang larangan to school, bt let those prefects fitnah me tat i brought 5.n when they write down yr name, they dont even notify me..wth r them. u guys make me hv bad consequences tat i need to suffer from...25 marks n mr lim onli allow me to redeem 20 marks, now i hv to sek sei mao for the 5 marks, n bcoz of the 5 marks, i have to face a big problem.

another matter, i did nt go to skul for 1 day in march n april. n tats nt i wan to make it so.bt granma was seriously ill at tat time, can i dun go bac n leave her in penang. im her granddaughter, i hv the right to went bac n visit her..tis is wat we as the younger generation need to do. n july, absent cz im sick. tat time our country was seriously attacked by the h1n1. if i go to skul, then im going to pass all the disease to others. n mr lim announce in assembly tat for those who r sick, dun cum to skul. im jz doing my part.im nt cheating. bt no matter how, we cnt get the 10 marks for monthly attendance, it is so unfair to us.

im frus, really frus. tears is alwaz glistening in my eyes, n im jz trying to control it..y can i be so bad luck tis year, everything seems to be so diff for me to go thru, i have to undergo alot of obstacles tat make me feel very tired. sumtimes im wondering, mayb i shudnt transfer to tis skul, mayb it wil be more easy for me in menjalara, tat will nt ruin my future. the skul is nt helping us, they r putting us in troubles, our scholarships is gonna me a nil to me if i get a B in my cert...hopeless

i hate, hate, hate all tat...i even start to hate the skul.....bt i dun wish to make it lyk tis...pls, make it smooth for me, i duwan to lose my future n my hope...

i really cnt stop myself from thinking about tis matter, anyone can rescue me???

another awkward feelings

emotionally tired...
im wondering wat is going on nowadays
y everyone was facing problems?
love problems, frenship problems
y cant u all appreciate the final moments u all have in tis year, to be together, to be fun together
i really dont know wat to say n what to comment
u say we din concern bout u
bt i did asked u, n u jz ignored me, dont want to tell me
wat can i do after rejected by u for twice..
im human also u know, i hv my own limitations too
now i jz hope to be wif another bunch of friends...
maybe it will not be so tired
right,zhu?

its quite fun buzzing around wif xiao y
we created a nickname for them
shhh, its secret, don tell, wakaka
we all normal want go and watch harry potter together next week lor
haha
have better taste when u buy things tomoro a

防空洞。。无奈却防不到

好久没写了。。真的好久了
最近心情怪怪的,没有特别的事情发生在我身上，但感觉真的不怎么好
为何呢？
感触吧。。我想
我觉得很多我在守候的人从我身边溜走了
人在，但感觉不在了
我在渴望些什么吗？我不知道
我只觉得自己很怪，怪透了
变成一个我不认识的自己
我好像哭哦，我已经忍着不哭很久了，比我预料的坚强很多了
但我内心真的不是很舒服
我形容不出，我从来都没有的感觉
就像一个空洞
一个已被空掏的心
到底我是怎么了呢
我失去了动力
不想去学校，不想去补习，不想在家，什么都不想做
我到底能做些什么呢？
是因为大考快到了吗
我希望是因为这个原因
我觉得我和我的朋友拉开了距离
不再像以往那个没有朋友活不下去的瑛
我变了，我真的变了
一些很遗憾的回忆任在我脑海中
很对不起那些被我伤害过的人
为了保护自己而任性，伤害你们
真的很对不起
尤其是你
我没有想过我们的结局会如此的糟
让我至今都还不能原谅我自己
我很想回到从前，真的很想
现在变成我自食其果了
我一个又一个失去倾诉的对象了
是我自找的
想说，却不知找谁说


God, please help me get pass all these
i'm really suffereing here, dont know what was happening to myself.
i lose myself
and i wan to get bac my soul from somewhere else
please get it bac for me
I hope for those uneasy feeling to pass through someday...

a not very peaceful day

为什么所发生的一切都好像是我的错？

why everything that was happening right now seem to be my fault, im so speechless, soundless, voiceless. im just trying to make a better thing with the profit, i duwan to waste it. im doing things beneficial for u all. maybe u all hate it, then just ignore me, i dun care. u noe, wat u told under my forcing was so hurt...i din hv those irritating feeling towards the guy, im just asking 1 sentence bout the famine 30, after tat wat we talked was all about the page. when i jz sat there n duwan to bother anymur, doesnt mean tat im angry, i jz duwan to involve anymur.too many ppl in such a small project perhaps might ruin all you guys hard word, so i jz pull myself off from that. i knew u all will be talking behind me, good or bad, i dun care.

im holding back my tears, n i successfully did it..i promised to myself i wont be so sensitive anymore, alone is not terrified to me anymore. walking to bio lab by myself, tats fine. u talked to her rather than me, tats fine too. bt i hate ppl asked me to on9, bt on9 doing nth, in the end i was lyk a sapo on9ing, waiting , sacrified my nap, n in the end u off9 without informing me..wth man..
anyway, i wrote tis blog not for the sake of others, nt for anyone to read it n backstab me, i jz want to express. tats all. i will be in a good mood again..

ignore the world, and i believe i will be happy forever^^ n my class i could onli have fun my my buddies, bt i hope to have fun like other classes, taking lots lots of nice photos, wif many many nice pose 我能从他们身上得到一些我很想得到的快乐.they all have a simple life, simple thinking without caring wat the others think bout them.i love their photossss

my hols

2 weeks of holidays is gonna end soon...2 more days n i need to wake up at 6am, prepared myself to school n receive my freaking results. time creeps so fast ouhhh

Reflection on myself for this holidays..wat have i did during tis holidays???
firstly, of course nt touching any of the academic books..have already been suffered for 1 whole months, tis 2 weeks for sure is my relaxation timing..hahaha, i really relaxed mysellf alot in tis two weeks
i have read alot of storybooks...5 english n 2 chinese...it is so nice to read all those story, although some of it is 18sg la..haha...n now im going to hit one more of my target, upgrade my english storybook to 6, i left twilight, a book that was praised by everyone, even my malay teacher...aha..
during tis hols, i dun really watch any movie or drama, except cinderella 3 in the movie series n singapore xiao niang re(haven watch finish)..xiao niang re reflexs the life of baba n nyonya..for the drama n books that i have read, i found out something, it keep on twirling in my mind for these few days..why those who are in love with each other couldnt get together in the end??or another way, why those who love the another half bt tat person does not have even a tiny feeling wif them?? even in reality, i found out most of it happen like this..is it a curse?or is it a fate? duno, still nt old enough to interpret all this

well, i have went out with frenz 3 times during tis 2 weeks. 1st is the book fair, wif xuan. the 2nd is sunway pyramid, wif my whole bunch of buddies n the last to the curve + tesco with those member in charge of the carnival...it is quite fun to go out with different frenz bt not onli stick together with my own friends like last time...

during this 2 weeks , i seldom on9...not really have a lot of ppl for me to chat with, get bored with that...n i duno what to do when on9, so i jz appear off9 or maybe totally din on..all of them are playing games in facebook, bt i din try before..is it that fun??duno

my weekends are fully occupied in this 2 weeks or perhaps til the end of tis month..i have activity or vacation during the weekend..1st weekend of the holidays, back to taiping n penang(my hometown). 2nd week, went to cameron. 3rd week, means coming saturday n sunday, 2 days before school reopen, go back to taiping again. next saturday, carnival, at night go n find relative.sunday,father's day, maybe go n celebrate. n another week, hv its own activity to be done as well...ouchhh

i just baked a cake yesterday, blueberry cheese cake..erm, its is edible n of course taste nt bad..haha^^

what i have done in the past holidays... i means last year. i will go for a swim wif qi or jac...bt then tis year, i cant even go for swimming...wth...i wan to swim!!! i miss swimming..n i love swimming...

last but not least, my wish n my hope:
i duwan to go to school!!! i want to stay at home. i duwan to face the upcoming exams!!!

feelings after exam

I jz finished my laz paper tis morning, to be precise, 9.15am. actually it shud be a happy time for me, bt aikzzz, im in charged of something again. i don really want it, i will help, bt i dun hope to be in the stall for all the time. i wan to walk wif my friend,my gang n fool around as it will bcaum my laz year wif them...bt.....wat shud i do??? i reli hope 5 of them can play well on tat day :(

today i duwan to get any paper at all, bt teacher still distribute maths paper...aikz, nt a gd score, quite depress wif it...esp when tuition time heard jh say ms.a fail alot of our paper, i wa totally lost at tat time, hv a undescribable feeling...i deserved it as i didnt prepare well for it, bt i dun hope to fail any of my paper...

hols coming, alot of stuffs waiting for me...nid to hv a preparation for the stall, read my storybuks, go to book exhibition, bake cake,tuition as usual...of course, hopefully can go for ice skating lar....hope everyone enjoy yr coming holidays^^

Exam fever strikes on me

stressful day coming

mood swings happened

i wan to pass the deadful days as soon as possible!!!

玻璃娃娃

最近外婆生病的事情让我醒悟了。原来我就是那么害怕失去一个人，从以往至今还是不变。。

这一次外婆生病让我知道再过不久我将永远失去她了，这是一个事实，也是一个我接受不了的事实。。

这件事让我害怕再失去任何一个人。妈妈最近生病了，而且挺严重，希望她赶快好起来。就连爸爸也投诉脊椎骨有点痛，这让我联想到外婆的脊椎骨有一个肿瘤。我真的很怕，真的很怕，我真的无法再失去一个人。我很爱他们，但我能做的就是叫他们赶快去看医生。。我真的很无助，但有有谁能了解我的心情呢？

外婆，爸爸妈妈，就连我自己的健康问题都已让我很困扰了。从小身体就不是很强，常常这里痛那里痛，我连骨科都看过了，最近因头痛症再次复发而差点被妈妈拉去看脑科(其实我只是很容易头痛罢了，不时有病，不要被吓倒）很像在看连续剧吧，就连我也意想不到。。。

最近又不知为何她变成这样。为什么会变成这样？？我们做错了什么吗？还是我做错了什么吗？好好的友情为何会演变成这样？是因为不同班吗？这是一个借口！！我中一时一个人孤苦伶仃在另一班，全部人都不认识。那时候思想未成熟，更需要朋友，但我都能熬过来了，为何你不能？中二终三都不是和你们坐，为的就是成全你们双双对对，我也能熬过来了。为何你又不能呢？当中，我是最了解你的心情，因为我是过来人，但你有事情时却不告诉我，你有把我当作是朋友吗？

朋友，是互相扶持，互相安慰的，因责任而关心朋友的人不是知己。当琦告诉我你常关心我是因为责任，因为我的一句话：‘我很信任你’ 而让你有义务来关心我。我听后心情真的很低落，原来你没用心来对待过我。。我开始自嘲了

朋友是需要主动的。只靠单方面的主动根本不会响。每次下课，只要我们是得空，我和亭都会尝试找你。但你呢？你有找过我们吗？就是因为不同班，我们4个更珍惜你和我们之间的友情，但你却放弃了，是因为琳的事件让你失去了信心吗？我不知道，只有你知道。你什么事都不曾告诉我们，没有人知道你在想什么。你的姐姐和她的朋友不同班都还能那么要好，没和你不能呢？

从上个星期起，我就发现你对我很很很冷淡。星期四会议后在食堂见到你，问你吃了没，你都没什么反应。同一天，我去far, 跟你说话，你也没有应我。每次补完化学后我和你说再见，你也没有回应。昨天国文补习时问你要不要去饥饿30，你也没回我。前天sms 你问你发生了什么事，你也没应。但第二天倩告诉我你有reply她的msg，今天补完习后又sms你，你还是不回我。你有想过我的感受吗？我根本一点都不好受！！！你又知道吗。。

今天真得让我觉得很心寒，无论是友情，还是亲人的健康。亭称我为玻璃娃娃，或许我是吧。当我最无助，在哭时想找你谈天，你却不理我。我只想找一个我依赖惯的人谈天，难道有那么难吗？或许你真的很忙吧。但我只想一切恢复从前，你还是那个让我诉苦，让我依赖，一起颠，一起玩的人，虽然我知道已经没有可能了，因为一切都是我一手推掉，破坏的，怨不了谁，要怪就怪自己的任性，不成熟，笨蛋。

几个星期前才答应自己要坚强，不要再那么轻易哭，但我还是失败了。。。

一切一切都能回到从前吗？

Surprisingly I typed in Chinese. I duno how to express well in both eng n Chinese, bt I still chosen Chinese to write out all the feeling. I hope everything can bac to the right track, to the same routine, to the past..i really hope for it…bt can I get tat??? I duwan to lose anyone anymur…I love u all, I reli do love you all…wat shud I do…I will have psychiatrically disturbed soon!!! :(

i wan to write, bt im fatigue...
i wan to tell sumone, bt i duno who can i tell
everyone is away from me now...
i jz hope to hv sumone for me to express, for me to cry, is tat so hard??
i loss the one i hv
i loss the one i trust
i lose to myself...

my target:
dun ever bothered bout all tat anymur
meaningless n useless
study hard wil be my right choice
i wont bliff sumone who told me she will nt study bt then she is studying in skul n im so idiotly follwed wat she say
i wan to be myself back
i wan to hv recess wif bai
i duwan to bother bout those jrs, bt can i?
i wan to do wateva i wan
i duwan 2nd tsunami to strike on my bday,if nt i will hate tat day foreva...
i wan everything i shud be granted wif

Depression week

It has been such a long time since i last updated my blog. i hv alot to write, but i coulnt find a time to write it..aikz
ok, well, i will jz roughly write down wat happen in the past 1 week. it depressed me alot.
the saturday 2 weeks b4(28/3) bac to taiping for qing ming festival after the 'power chef' comp. so glas we enter the next round for laz saturday, bt then we lose it laz sat(4/3). actually its gd to lose it too, cz it was damn boring at there, they r nt testing on the cookery skill, bt on the decorative mind, omg, im totally poor on it. well, bac to the topic. bac to qing ming, so skip tui. on the next day which means sunday go for qing ming, n then i told my dad i wan to play truant for monday. so we no nid to rush bac by tat day. bt then sumthing bad strike on us. mum received a call from aunt, say that grandma is quite ill. so we rush to mainlandin the evening. yea, grandma was reli ill, she couldnt walk, coulnt eat, couldnt urinate, n keep on yelling for pain. at last i noe wat had happened to her after heard the conversation between my aunt n my parents.
grandma has a stone in the gall bladder, n tumour in liver n it's cancerous. my mind was totally blank at tat time. i duno wat shud i say. i saw my mum crying after she received the call from my aunt in taiping. after visit grandma in 3rd aunt's hse, we went to 1st aunt's hse to say overnite. in the midnite, mum received a call again, 3rd aunt calling. she said grandma was suffereing from pain, n she need to be emitted to hospital immediately. so they went off n im still half sleeping, duno wat is going on until i woke up in the next day. mum was alr nt at home, she n my 1st aunt accompanied my grandma in hosp. after preparing myself, we went to penang's hospital. the time we reached there grandma was having ct scan, so we jz waited outside. after grandma went bac to the wad, she vomit, n its a lot. i saw her having glucose intravenour diffusion through the vein in her hand, looked pale. after tat, around 2 sumthing, we went bac to kl cz im still schooling on the next day.
a guilt was alwaz raging inside me whenever i did sumthing. on wed went to celebrate peiting's bday in jusco kfc. whenever i was laughing, i will think of my grandma illness. she was so sick in the hosp, bt then i was laughing here n there, im such a dump. i barely could take tis feeling, it is torturing me. on thursday i went for duty pulak. under the sun for so long, sunburn, leg pain, backbone n shoulder aso prickling painful. after duty still rush to tuition altho we were alr late for 45 mins. actually i do not wish to go, bt then all of them wan to go, n im the one who nid to send them there, so jz go.
laz week grandma's report aso has been revealed, is liver cancer n it's alr 4th stage. omg, im in a shock. i noe mum was very sad actually, n she couldnt sleep nowadays n is quite weak. im reli worried by my mum. after dad explained everything to me, i noe tis is wat life called. everyone nid to face tis, bt hopefully it was nt in a painful path. wat i can do now was jz pray hard for my grandma.
yesterday went bac to mainland n visit my grandma again. she can talk, bt couldnt eat n walk n she was strengthless. so today i was absent to skul again. actually its ok for nt going to skul cz i do not wish to go to skul anyway. it is a waste of time. i saw all my aunties bcum very tired, esp 3rd aunt, she has weeks of sleepless night cz nid to take care of grandma. i reli hope grandma can recover..i hope all these din happen at all... :(
jz now went to acc tuition, then heard of sumthing, hope tat it is nt true. if it is true, i wil lnever trust tat person anymur.........

decison

Should i apply for ASEAN scholarships?
can i really manage to deal with that?
do i have time to study all over about A-level's maths in facts im still half way learning high schools's add maths
do i really have time for it???
what is my best choice???
*crossing fingers*

18/3

today going to hv a great surprise for qi. actually her bday falls on 19th, bt then on tat day, sum members of our gang cant make it, so we make it on 18th. anyway, its quite fun too. ok, well, the story begins lyk tis. bai, tiang n qian came to my house, n we cook together. we prepare spagetti, mushroom soup, bacon, sausages..tiang make a carrot cake a day b4 n so am i, i make pudding...its a great day act, cz its the first time to c 3 of them who duno cooking help me to cook, fried n so on..tat was the sincerity towards fren, they hv show it out by tis way..n they help to wash up all the plates n cutlery too, proud of them..muackzzz. then we go to qi's hse. she is sleeping at tat time.n the pose when she is sleeping is vr laughable, we hv taken sum photos of tat too...haha. then the surprise begins when she awake...haha. then we hv our home made lunch. then we took plenty of ss photos in her room n balcony. all those photos are posted in facebook, i lazy to post it here. a great day for 5 of us. 1 more thing, im glad tat we hv chosen the right choice of nt doing tat..give me five, yeah



19/3

another celebration for qi n a surprise for khing yuan. bt then , the surprise has revealed by those guys of their carelessness, anyway, its fun too. 5 girls n 5 boys, having steamboat+bbq at hong fook steamboat restaurant, sumwhere around carefour. bt then i nt reli lyk tat place when saw alot of negro lingering around, n i heard ru say they r fighting over there. omg...bt then we still enjoy our food as usual, its delicious..yummy yummy. then about 10 sumthing, i call my parents n told them no nid to fetch me as im going to min zhuo's hse which is at fortune park. bt then i've cheated my mum tat gt parents send us there...ohh, reli sorry. bt the journey to his hse is quite a disaster for me. a lot of negro there, walking everywhere, forming a group here n there. n im wearing skirt, omg. im so scared n afraid at tat time actually. i walk swiftly until we r safely reached at his hse. n im so hot at tat time for the long distance walk...lack of exercise..haha..around 11.30, all of us go bac n her bday jz passed lyk tis in a jovial mood..

很失败真的很失败
我不知道该怎么样了
我真的快要崩溃了
一切都不顺利
人际关系也这样
事情也这样
我还能怎么样呢？

14/3
today is school's sport day. as usual, i hv marching for tis year. go to skol vr early in the morning, onli sleep 4 hrs tat day...so tired. then today after marching, take photo in full-u wif qian n zy. after tat go n take note on sumthing for documentation purpose. after tat, i enjoy my day quite well. lingering around, shout for green hse n so on. im so glad notice board get 1st n the khemah decoration get 2nd. at least our hard works are nt wasted. then later on in far take photo wif weiyi, jianing n the duckling...wakaka. then aso take photo wif hyau n weihoong. then go home chit chat wif cousin sis then quickly prepare myself n rush to midvalley..im so freaking tired on tat day, dun wish to walk at all, bt hv to.. go bac then text with ppl n read storybuk till i fall asleep...

15/3
today wake up quite early too..nid to go to temple. then cum bac continue sleep again. after tat send my cousin sis bac to upm. cz my dad was nt in kl, so we nid to go there by ktm..bt the train was packed lyk sardine...my goodness. today talk bout the famine 30hrs wif cousin sis, no matter how if im nt having exam, i will join it one mur time..if all my fren duwan to go, i go wif her...nt reli in a gd mood rite now, alot of things to do n to think of...i gonna burst one day. im pressurize myself now cz of our skul spm results for tis year. 14 straight A1, 40 straight As, omg, they r giving me pressure. i wan to start study, bt alot of things waiting for me to settle down..damn it...
pls do sumthing ok? once i get furious i will jz refuse to do anything...i reli wan to shout out from my inner core: wth!!!

无言

我告诉了她，友情会变质吗？
我总觉得我们已与以前不同了
是我敏感，还是事实？
我就有如和每个人都脱离了，尤其是我的好朋友

我真的很想念你，就算你每天都在我身边
因为你从不做作
希望我还有时间和你一起颠，实行我们的约定

我真的很想念你。。。

7/3
today when to skul for st john activity n marching
sumthing surprising me alot...i met wif hyau today le...i hv been such a preety long time do chat nor meet him...im actually miss him quite lots
he will be bac to skul again next sat to look out for our skol lousy sport day..anything, i jz remember sumthing
RMB to bring me my SOUVENIR lar...haiyo
then went to tuition as usual, bt while listening to teacher for physics lesson, im playing sudoku...wakaka, niceeee
then later on went bac n hv dinner wif my family, my uncle, aunt, er ge, granny, yi po n her husband at saigong..the food there was reli delicious..yummy yummy
then my aunt, uncle, mum n i curi-curi go to jusco n buy a cake for my grandma...her bday approaching...she will be 80's start fr next monday...happy birthday to u, my beloved grandma
going to oi oi now, tomoro stil nid to go to qi hse early in the morning to do the shirt n going to attend jiarong's bday at nite...
i will post bout tomoro bday party next time...

Tagged by Nee

1.The person who tagged you
Nee

2. Your relationship with him/her
of course a great frienf for me lar^^

3. Your 5 impressions of him/her
- She’s crazy. (like to beat my butt)
- She’s emotional.
- She’s caring.
- She is a bit cool especially towards strangers
- She is good in english.(jealous le me)

4. The most memorable thing he/she had done for you
Send me songs n borrow me storybooks

5. The most memorable thing he/she had said to you
console me when im sad

6. If he/she become your lover you will
Im nt a lesbian...

7. If he/she become your lover, things he/she has to improve on
if she has change her sex to a guy

8. If he/she become your enemy, you will
tis will forever never appear in my mind

9. If he/she become your enemy, the reason will be because..
beat my butt until vr painful...wakaka

10. The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now
beat her butt as a return

11. Your overall impression of him/her
she is crazy n nice

12. How you think people around you will feel about you?
very cool n hard to get near wif me esp when i din talk or smile

13. The characters you love of yourself
be bac myself

14. On the contrary, the characters that you hate about yourself
think negatively very easily

15. The most ideal person you want to be is
a successful n independant girl

16. For people who care and love you, say something to them.
thx alot for all yr lovessss, i will alwaz remember wat u all had did for me^^

17. Pass this test to 10 persons who you wished to know how they feel about you.
1. hyau
2. weihoong
3. kim hung
4. bai
5. qi
6. tiang
7. qian
8. jac
9. weijie
10. ling

18. Who is no. 6 having relationship with?
none

19. Is no. 9 a male or female?
male

20. If no. 7 and no.10 together, is that a good thing?
no way!!!

21. What is no. 2 studying about?
statistic is im nt mistaken

22. When is the last time u had a chat with no. 3?
duno...months b4??

23. What kind of music band does no. 8 like?
omg, i duno...im going to ask her bout tat

24. Does no. 1 have any siblings?
yup

25. Will you woo no. 3?
a girl to woo a guy, tis will nt present in my theory

26. How about no. 7?
im nt lesbian

27. Is no. 4 single?
yea

28. What is the surname of no.5?
miskey mouse

29. What is the hobby of no. 10?
ohh, i duno, sorry le

30. Does no. 5 and 9 get along well?
erm, nt vr suk

31. Where is no. 2 studying at?
UM

32. Talk something casually about no. 1
he lyk to sinka alot

33. Have you tried developing feelings for no. 6?
of course, she is my honey...

34. Where does no. 9 live at?
sumwhere in jinjang

35. What colour does no.4 like?
blue...

36. Are no. 5 and 1 best friends?
nope, they nt reli noee bout each other

37. Is no. 7 the sexiest person in the world?
a nice looking girl

38. What is no. 6 doing now?
i duno...studying? smsing?

5/3
今天真的感到身心疲累。。。
today im very tired, reli exhausted. i dun even step into the class b4, nt at all! bcz of the notice board. for the 1st time i play truant for whole day without entering the clas eventhough the p&p is still undergoing. i felt so guilt wif tat..after recess, i turn to bcum a moody gal, bcoz of the meeting held by my junior. u all r the head of tis programme, jz take yr own decision n take action against those who r nt listening to u all, dun bother bout the age's gap. they talk theirs without listening n cooperate wif u all, i dun understand how u all could stand wif them..i think i reli nid to hv a meeting n take stern action on them, i reli do nt hope to scold ppl...aiks, wat shud i do???
the ass demerit us...why shud her?? we hv the pass n we r nt lingering around, we r doing proper things...jz purposely wan to fool us aound? or makes us in trouble??wat the f u...
after skul, even haven finish doing the notice board, bt i hv to rush for marching n jz left jm doing alone..luckily at laz fj help her. bt the marching...j z so few ppl came for it, wat for??we r the seniors n we came everyday, how about those juniors, their marching r even worse than us, n they dare to absent for it...im so speechless..pls take actions on them
then after marching still nid to rush for tuition. at there, another matter happen n burn up my anger. i ask her for so many times at past few days whether wan to do the essay anot n she say duwan. bt then today she hand in to teacher. when i ask her how cum she do, she jz say yest onli decide to finish up cz duwan to drag it anymur.. tis is nt the 1st time i hv tis prob wif her. everytime i ask one, she will jz do another 1. cz of u say duwan to do, then i aso duwan to do, i trust u bt u jz fool me up. even u wan to do, cn u jz inform me, i duwan to be lyk an ass...

3/3
Today is quite a messy day for me, especially after school. today have alot of activities after school. go n help out for notice board, play tennis n watch basketball. well, actually its still go smoothly at the beginning..it started to ruin up everything after i finish helping the notice board...
the story starts like tat. zhao ying help me in notice board as she was too bored n jz loiteriing around the school. we start out tennis at 2.30, bt both of us were late. we go n find qian, qi n bai at tennis court, bt we coulnt find them. so we went to first aid room, 6A2, basketball court then bac to tennis court again.. actually they were at the tennis court, playing tennis happily at the corner lot. both of us walk till hv pain at abdomen, n its very tiring...as the school is under construction, we walk from one end till the other end..jz imagine how tiring are we. ok, fine, then qian forgt to bring me my gerko card n the 1st aid room has been locked up, so another matter happen on me..bt tats nt big deal to me yet..
after tat, around 3.15, we stopped playing n rush to the basketball court, to enjoy the final of girls under 18. i bring along a file containing all the things tat jiamei had done to the destination too. while the match going on halfway, rain falls heavily n the wind was so strong...we n zhaoying once again go n find qi n bai, we walk fr 1st aid room to foyer then to the hall then bac to 1st aid room then to the canteen n then to the hall again..both of us r so wet. then ky told me he saw both of them at the new pondok there..so we jz go n hv a look, they r reli there..bt we did nt approach them, as they r busying wif the perhiasan khemah.. so i bac to 1st aid room n read shao nian..when its time to go home, i rmb bout the file i left at the basketball court..me, qian n qi ran to the basketball court under the heavy rain n finally yong lim help us to find out..at tat time, im so anxious till gonna burst into tears...if i lost tat, i cant imagine wat will happen tomoro. anyway, thx alot to qian n qi, they acc me run here n there, find all around the skol n 3 of us r soaked in wet...i reli do appreciate yr kindness....thx ya >.<

28/2

well, today is quite a exhausted day for me, nt quite, is extremely

today morning go to skol for the program taman angkat..today i've exercise alot...so tired man. once i reach skol for nt mur than 10 mins, teacher find me, n ask me to run here n there...even untill than nanny principal finish talking, im still running around the skol..then after tat, stay right under the hot hot sun, make my face looks lyk a big red apple..n my skin bcum darker right now...hate it...i wan bac my fair skin...

after tat, go bac n invent a new dish, quite nice...haha, proud of myself...bt bcoz of tis, i dun hv extra time to hv a short nap..damn it. wateva, i jz now head was so pain when i went for tuition, cant concentrate well at all...

n today i cheated alot, esp cheating the jac.her bday is on 29/2, bt unfortunately tis year dun hv 29th,so plan a bday celebration for her on 28th.....she reli duno wat we plan for her..wakaka..we plan a birthday party-steamboat at her hse...she duno at all, the green apples called her dad n ask for permission. bt today seldom talk when im at her hse..vr tired. i crawl to her bed n almoz fall asleep, bt was ask to go downstairs n play true or dare..actually i duwan to play,im reli tired, bt cz of jac, i sacrifise myself..jac, c i treat u so gd...bt tat game permainkan me alot le...cannot play true, onli can play dare..3 of the guys who kena aso related to me..then they nid to shake hand wif me for few seconds...i dun even stand up when they cum near me, im so tired till lazy to stand up, paiseh le..then when i kena, i nid to turn round wif a guy, lyk those dancing tat type, holding hand n turn...luckily tat guy is nt in my rumour-guy, if nt sure will let they play till...bt reli paiseh to ky, wu duan duan involve in tis...paiseh paiseh

30/3

today is xiang bday...once again, i cheated her tat i fall sick after jac's bday n i cant go for the celebration..she was so disappointed at tat time. act today wan to gv her a surprise, me, xuan, tiang , yarn act is going there earlier, bt at the same time we r waiting for the train, they arrive, so no choice lo, she knew it ad..bt then when they r buying tickets, the train arrived, n me , xuan n tiang quickly ran up the train without their notice...haha, geng le we all. we go there n buy cake then look for Tony Roma's. after tat, we go to romp then bac to the restaurant again. we gv the cake to the waiter n ask them to bring it out after the meal. at the same time, they will gv the bday girl a free dessert...when they arrive, we ordered our food n enjoy it. the food there is reli srumptious...yummy yummy^^ after finish the meal, the waiter bring out the cake n we sing hapi bday song for xiang in 2 version, those waiter n waitress aso sing together wif us...9 of us ate up to a total of 225.40 bucks, quite expensive actually, bt the food was reli nice..nice food i dun mind to pay abit expensive...im a can zui mao..haha..

then later i ask tiang n qi go n buy big apple's donnut for xuan...sun bian celebrate wif her..altho her bday pass a long time ago, bt tat time we do nt hv time to celebrate wif her...so now we replace bac..we sing a hapi belated bday song to xuan at the street outside the restaurant...haha, geng le we, duno shy shy wan...kaka...then later we go n watch movie "the curious case of benjamin" is im nt mistaken bout the movie's title..too long ad, hard to rmb. bt then me, tiang n qi go bac earlier b4 the movie end cz tiang's parents wan to fetch her ad, bt it is a bit dangerous to let her go bac by herself, so we decided to accompany her bac...tiang, c, we treat u so gd le..haha...when we reach kepong, rain heavily out there...n we met our ex-senior out there...we chat alot, n then ask her to cum for the skol carnival. all right, the day ended lyk tis...

photos of today tat is memorable:

the birthday girl

the bill:225.40 bucks!!!

the green apples

ahbai's family bt bai nt here

all of us

me- the can zui mao^^

xuan n me wif big apple's donnut..yummy >.<

hope xiang n jac will be hapi wif yr bday celebration...muackzz, luv ya^^

diary

Thursday (26/2/09):
a enjoyable day for me.. im having dissection on frog. its so exciting man..me n qi want to dissect by ourselves, only 2 of us in the group, bt at last jia hui join us..anyway, the same fascinating process is still going on. our frog is the last one take out from the plastic bag, maybe bcoz of tis, it is much more weaker than the others. when we cut of the skin, its heart is nt pumping anymur. haha, n we do internal chess compression for it. i use the scalpel n press the heart softly, n out of my surprise, the heart start pumping again. bt it keep on stop pumping once in a while.. 3 of us say sorry to the frog non-stop..n i saw the liver, the small intestine, gall bladder, large intestine, anus n etc. i think tis frog eat alot, its adipose layer is so thick le.. we all tis 3 girls abit pervert lar, getting more n more exciting by the end. we all take out every part of the organ out of its body. n put the heart on our palm. the heart pumping on my hand, bop bop, bop bop..i felt so sorry to it at tat time.. bt the guys on the next table r much more cruel to their frog. they chop off its head, dig out its eyes n touch, they r the 1st who dig out every part of the organs n bring it to our place..ohya, forgt to tell sumthing. finally i can see how the heart pumps blood. there's a smallest chamber which contain dark-coloured blood, which mean deoxygenated blood lar. n i c how the oxygenated blood n deoxygenated blood interchange within the 3 chamber.... now i wan to dissect mice le...bt i hope to c human's heart...im nt bian tai lar, jz my dream to bcum a doctor still haven vanish from my mind, although i know it is impossible...

Friday (27/2/09)
today whole day we jz talk bout the 2 birthday girls' bday plan n aso the flirty guy...we talk alot n tell alot, hope tat u reli understand wat we say. wat we r talking is for yr own good, we duwan u to get hurt in the end.. dun believe in guys so easily..today heard jac say sumthing, i noe she purposely wan to let me noe, i ans her i dun mind...bt act im nt reli feel well wif it..she noe about tis..bt anyway, i dun hv the right to say anything bout tis, tis is non of my business...im so regret now, for playing so dian previously..now im the one who suffer... i nt dare to tell le, altho i wish to, i jz wan to ask sumthing...to c tat...bt i hv lost my courages,im so timid at tis time... bt in the contrary, if had seen it, shud say thanks to me right...bt nope....haiz, suan lar, i noe u wont bother bout it, n nor me...

July baby

Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed.Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable.Emotional temperamental and unpredictable.Easily hurt. Witty and sparkly.spazzy at times.Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets.dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be with friends ... Always ! brood about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

Im very agree with all these. every characteristic is jz so accurate for me. however, i hate some of the characteristics, it jz make me feel so pessimistic. i jz wait for friends to find me, bt dun ever find for any friend when chatting or messaging..tats y no one will look for me..sobs. unbelievable comments on me, too accurate man!!!