Depression week

It has been such a long time since i last updated my blog. i hv alot to write, but i coulnt find a time to write it..aikz
ok, well, i will jz roughly write down wat happen in the past 1 week. it depressed me alot.
the saturday 2 weeks b4(28/3) bac to taiping for qing ming festival after the 'power chef' comp. so glas we enter the next round for laz saturday, bt then we lose it laz sat(4/3). actually its gd to lose it too, cz it was damn boring at there, they r nt testing on the cookery skill, bt on the decorative mind, omg, im totally poor on it. well, bac to the topic. bac to qing ming, so skip tui. on the next day which means sunday go for qing ming, n then i told my dad i wan to play truant for monday. so we no nid to rush bac by tat day. bt then sumthing bad strike on us. mum received a call from aunt, say that grandma is quite ill. so we rush to mainlandin the evening. yea, grandma was reli ill, she couldnt walk, coulnt eat, couldnt urinate, n keep on yelling for pain. at last i noe wat had happened to her after heard the conversation between my aunt n my parents.
grandma has a stone in the gall bladder, n tumour in liver n it's cancerous. my mind was totally blank at tat time. i duno wat shud i say. i saw my mum crying after she received the call from my aunt in taiping. after visit grandma in 3rd aunt's hse, we went to 1st aunt's hse to say overnite. in the midnite, mum received a call again, 3rd aunt calling. she said grandma was suffereing from pain, n she need to be emitted to hospital immediately. so they went off n im still half sleeping, duno wat is going on until i woke up in the next day. mum was alr nt at home, she n my 1st aunt accompanied my grandma in hosp. after preparing myself, we went to penang's hospital. the time we reached there grandma was having ct scan, so we jz waited outside. after grandma went bac to the wad, she vomit, n its a lot. i saw her having glucose intravenour diffusion through the vein in her hand, looked pale. after tat, around 2 sumthing, we went bac to kl cz im still schooling on the next day.
a guilt was alwaz raging inside me whenever i did sumthing. on wed went to celebrate peiting's bday in jusco kfc. whenever i was laughing, i will think of my grandma illness. she was so sick in the hosp, bt then i was laughing here n there, im such a dump. i barely could take tis feeling, it is torturing me. on thursday i went for duty pulak. under the sun for so long, sunburn, leg pain, backbone n shoulder aso prickling painful. after duty still rush to tuition altho we were alr late for 45 mins. actually i do not wish to go, bt then all of them wan to go, n im the one who nid to send them there, so jz go.
laz week grandma's report aso has been revealed, is liver cancer n it's alr 4th stage. omg, im in a shock. i noe mum was very sad actually, n she couldnt sleep nowadays n is quite weak. im reli worried by my mum. after dad explained everything to me, i noe tis is wat life called. everyone nid to face tis, bt hopefully it was nt in a painful path. wat i can do now was jz pray hard for my grandma.
yesterday went bac to mainland n visit my grandma again. she can talk, bt couldnt eat n walk n she was strengthless. so today i was absent to skul again. actually its ok for nt going to skul cz i do not wish to go to skul anyway. it is a waste of time. i saw all my aunties bcum very tired, esp 3rd aunt, she has weeks of sleepless night cz nid to take care of grandma. i reli hope grandma can recover..i hope all these din happen at all... :(
jz now went to acc tuition, then heard of sumthing, hope tat it is nt true. if it is true, i wil lnever trust tat person anymur.........