灰色

近期的我都很不快乐，常常都觉得很郁闷。终是有那种被人抛弃的感觉。我好讨厌这种感觉呀！
近期发生了很多事。全都很悲。我让自己陷入了无法自拔的地步。
有个人告诉我他喜欢了一个女孩，我顿时觉得很恍然无助。这就好像我将失去了所有的事。为什么会这样？我很怪。我就像失去了一个依靠。也因为如此我与他交谈时变得很冷漠。我就是这样。每当有一个我很在乎的人告诉我他喜欢了一个人时，我就会刻意回避他，把自己装得很冷淡，说话时毫无感情，还会时常逃避他。我不想要搞到这样。说我没有不开心是骗人的，我甚至把他送我的东西丢在一旁，不再去抱它。。。我是真的很在意吗？我不知道。现在与他交谈时，这个事实终会出现在我脑海里。我就像是将会永远失去他，虽然现在我知道我已经失去他了。。。
I really hope to escape myself from tis place...i really lose my feel towards it..im jz a failure in everything,any relationship make me fed up of it, no matter is friendship, brother-sister relationship, im jz getting sad of it
im nt really happy when i go to secondary school life, from a cheerful girl had changed to a moody girl...i want to find back the true me bt i had failed. im just looking for someone who is really care bout me, is it tat hard??? i couldnt answer tis question, maybe the answer might be disappointed me. everyday im just acting myself. sometimes yes, i express my feeling to my friend, bt yet i couldnt get any console from her. at home, i cannot cry, i dont want to let my parents know all these. Im just want to throw my arm to somebody and cry loudly, can I??? Last time mayb yes, he will alwaz be with me, listened to me...bt all these were already past tense. No return. maybe wat H say is true...
"when guy like u...u can choose to accept him or decline
same thing goes to guys....if guys feel sudenly tat girls not de right girl...he wil stop..n change target" 或许我表错情了

morning when i woke up, i had alot to write, bt now im abit blank bout wat im writing...